Archive for the ‘Outdoors’ Category

My $200 tomato

Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

Well, it’s official. I’m probably the worst gardener on earth. (more…)

My De-Fence against Deer.

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

I’ve been ordered by “the top brass” to create a simple barrier between her Spring garden and the Bambi in our midst. Folks have told me to hire a professional. Heck, I don’t need any expert showing me how to dig a hole and plant a post. Oops… Or, do I? (more…)

Climatic Indigestion

Tuesday, January 11th, 2011

EEK! Hibernation is looking better all the time… It’s spitting cats and dogs, outside — And, my poor house is bearing the brunt of atmospheric flatulence.

Remember the ‘ol days — way back when cars had real bumpers… I don’t recall Mother Nature being so mean. Of course, I was a kid and didn’t have modern worries. Now, my house and I try to survive the Holiday Season’s wear ‘n tear by humming Christmas songs, like ‘The Little Plumber Boy’ — ra bum pa pum pum. (more…)

My Weather-O-Meter

Sunday, November 21st, 2010

Mother nature just pooped on me.

I think it’s fair to say that as a homeowner, I’m more sensitive to the natural element’s effect on my mood.

(more…)

Handyman Hell

Tuesday, October 12th, 2010

There’s a man in my backyard who’s covered in dirt and looks like a Sasquatch.

I guess it’s my fault. I didn’t want to do the work, myself. WRONG… Backup. I DID want to do it myself, but my wife said, “I’m not allowing you to dig holes, use buckets and shovels, and drag dirt into the house.” She’s right. I did that when I was 8 years old, and now grown ups get paid for the pleasure.

(more…)

Homeowner’s To-Do Lists are Longer

Monday, September 27th, 2010

I have a memory like a sieve — and, if I don’t keep a daily list, I can never remember what I’m supposed to do. And as a fellow homeowner, I think our lists are the grand daddies. I have lists of lists. My lists are so long, they come with titles like, “My life story. Part 6.”, or “The Return of Honey-Do.”

(more…)

Fix Something, Break Something

Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

I think the Home Ownership gods are mad at me. I can’t seem to attempt any around-the-house fix-up projects without breaking something else in the process. I guess I’m a klutz.

(more…)

Ants in my Pants

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

Well, the invasion has begun. No, not the Martians — the creepy crawlers out in my garage. And, don’t ask me why they’ve decided to march in, now…
I called a pet store, in hopes of finding an Ant Eater. I’ve seen pictures — They’re kind’a cute and have that family resemblance. But, no luck.

(more…)