Archive for the ‘Home Repairs’ Category

My House: The Igloo

Thursday, February 9th, 2012

Wow. My house is shivering. I wish I could wrap it in a giant electric blanket. (more…)

My book’s ‘delightmare.’

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011

I should have been a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman. The joy of rejection has become my new mantra. After all, I chose to self-publish a humorous hard bound book — Shouldn’t I have expected abuse for my artistic effort? (more…)

My De-Fence against Deer.

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

I’ve been ordered by “the top brass” to create a simple barrier between her Spring garden and the Bambi in our midst. Folks have told me to hire a professional. Heck, I don’t need any expert showing me how to dig a hole and plant a post. Oops… Or, do I? (more…)

Climatic Indigestion

Tuesday, January 11th, 2011

EEK! Hibernation is looking better all the time… It’s spitting cats and dogs, outside — And, my poor house is bearing the brunt of atmospheric flatulence.

Remember the ‘ol days — way back when cars had real bumpers… I don’t recall Mother Nature being so mean. Of course, I was a kid and didn’t have modern worries. Now, my house and I try to survive the Holiday Season’s wear ‘n tear by humming Christmas songs, like ‘The Little Plumber Boy’ — ra bum pa pum pum. (more…)

My Weather-O-Meter

Sunday, November 21st, 2010

Mother nature just pooped on me.

I think it’s fair to say that as a homeowner, I’m more sensitive to the natural element’s effect on my mood.

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My House has Wrinkles.

Monday, November 8th, 2010

I’m starting to look like my house. They say, “We are what we eat.”, or that people look like their pets. I’m ready to take it one step further…

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“I should have married a plumber.”

Sunday, October 24th, 2010

My wife says she mistakenly married me for love… She should have hitched up with someone more handy.

I know. As a husband and homeowner I’m supposed to wear a lot of hats — Prince Charming, bread winner, and tool user. I do the best I can. In fact, I can perform miracles with super glue.

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Handyman Hell

Tuesday, October 12th, 2010

There’s a man in my backyard who’s covered in dirt and looks like a Sasquatch.

I guess it’s my fault. I didn’t want to do the work, myself. WRONG… Backup. I DID want to do it myself, but my wife said, “I’m not allowing you to dig holes, use buckets and shovels, and drag dirt into the house.” She’s right. I did that when I was 8 years old, and now grown ups get paid for the pleasure.

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Homeowner’s To-Do Lists are Longer

Monday, September 27th, 2010

I have a memory like a sieve — and, if I don’t keep a daily list, I can never remember what I’m supposed to do. And as a fellow homeowner, I think our lists are the grand daddies. I have lists of lists. My lists are so long, they come with titles like, “My life story. Part 6.”, or “The Return of Honey-Do.”

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Fix Something, Break Something

Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

I think the Home Ownership gods are mad at me. I can’t seem to attempt any around-the-house fix-up projects without breaking something else in the process. I guess I’m a klutz.

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