“I should have married a plumber.”

My wife says she mistakenly married me for love… She should have hitched up with someone more handy.

I know. As a husband and homeowner I’m supposed to wear a lot of hats — Prince Charming, bread winner, and tool user. I do the best I can. In fact, I can perform miracles with super glue.

The other day I was in the Post Office and over heard an 80 year old widow saying she’s in the mood for love and finding a new man — as long as he can fix things and mow the lawn!  I laughed out loud, and realized I wasn’t alone in my male-home ownership-limited abilities-complex. The fact is that houses come with needs, and it’s a homeowner’s duty to fix on demand.

So, how do I keep this from getting me down? I need to up the ante on the fixer-upper. Yep. I’m going to start doing my home work, by golly. I can buy some manuals and learn about electricity… Well, 10,000 volts is a little scary. Maybe not. But, I can do wood working — I can get some skill saws and band saws and table saws… Ouch. The word “saw’ sounds serious. I’ll skip that part. But, how about plumbing? Or, does all that pipe end up connected to the septic, some how?

Darn it. Now I’m starting to remember why I’ve avoided mending my house, “the menace.” I’m more the artistic/creative type.

So, I’ll tell my wife to keep me, as is. That love conquers all… eventually. Even the leaky sink.

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